Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and she was petting her beer can
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
