She's JV to your varsity
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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