Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i think im in europe. pls send help
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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