so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize