she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize