all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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