That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
the liver wants what the liver wants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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