Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
