Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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