My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize