with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize