We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
