ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Buhtt sex?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
