PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Duck Duck Cougar?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
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i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize