i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
