I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
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You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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