We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Shitshow foam night was such a success
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
