I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
