I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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