then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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