Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
