Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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