Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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