To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
