Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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