pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
