Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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