I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
