If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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