i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
