I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
