Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
