need another drink. this is the easiest way
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
