please come you make the beer taste better
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
