True but thats because hes a fetus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
