did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
