She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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