I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
worst night to have a conscience
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
