uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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