New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
