our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
