Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
