Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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