super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You are a genius and a whore.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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