Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
