i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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