the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
