Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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