All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
