Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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