dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
