Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
