I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
