Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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