I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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