Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
