The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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