i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
