Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
