Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
did i walk over a car last night?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
