I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
