Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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