im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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