similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
